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Renowned speaker, parenting expert, and New York Times bestselling author Dr. Wendy Mogel offers an essential guide to the new art of talking to children, showing how a change in tone and demeanor can transform the relationship between parent and child.
Most parents are perfectly fine communicators—unless they’re talking to their children. Then, too often, their pitch rises and they come across as pleading, indignant, wounded, outraged. In tone and body language they signal, I can’t handle it when you act like a child.
Dr. Wendy Mogel saw this pattern time and again in her clinical practice. In response, she developed a remarkably effective series of “voice lessons,” which she shared with parents who were struggling with their kids. The results were immediate: a shift in vocal style led to children who were calmer, listened more attentively, and communicated with more warmth, respect, and sincerity.
In Voice Lessons for Parents, Mogel elaborates on her novel clinical approach, revealing how each age and stage of a child’s life brings new opportunities to connect through language. Drawing from sources as diverse as neuroscience, fairy tales, and anthropology, Mogel offers specific guidance for talking to children across the expanse of childhood and adolescence. She also explains the best ways to talk about your child to partners, exes, and grandparents, as well as to teachers, coaches, and caretakers. Throughout the book, Mogel addresses an obstacle that bedevils even the most seasoned and confident parent: the distraction of digital devices, how they impact our connection with our families, and what we can do about it.
Mogel’s now classic book, The Blessing of a Skinned Knee, is a beloved resource for a generation of parents. Voice Lessons for Parents brings her unique brand of practical wisdom to harried parents eager to deepen their relationships with their kids. “Children will lead you on an incredible journey,” writes Mogel, “if they trust you, if you take the time, and if you’re willing to follow.”
About the Author
Wendy Mogel, PhD, is a practicing clinical psychologist, international public speaker, and the author of Voice Lessons for Parents, the New York Times bestseller The Blessing of a Skinned Knee, and The Blessing of a B Minus. She lives in Los Angeles. Please visit her website at WendyMogel.com.
"In this brilliant, compassionate book, Wendy Mogel has something to offer every parent. By practicing what Mogel recommends, parents will find the dance they do with their children as they wend their way to adulthood less uncertain, less painful, and more joyful that it is now. Read it and teach yourself how to do it."
—Barry Schwartz, author of Practical Wisdom and Why We Work
"Wisdom for parents of children of all ages from one of the most astute psychologists on the planet. Dr. Mogel explains the art and science of communicating with the people you love most."
—Angela Duckworth, New York Times bestselling author of Grit
“In this intelligent and useful book, Wendy Mogel explains how the tenor of your remarks may make as much difference as their content. In accessible terms, she shows how minor adjustments may help lower the inherent tension of parent-child relationships.”
—Andrew Solomon, bestselling author of Far From the Tree
“For all parents who have heard themselves yell when they meant to simply question, or have clammed up when they meant to be curious (and that, of course, is all of us) here’s your new bible. With her trademark deep empathy, Mogel once again is absolutely on point as she challenges parents to talk to their children compassionately, and to listen a whole lot more. How lovely to hear her sage voice in these pages.”
—Madeline Levine, PhD., author of The Price of Privilege
“Generous and wise…Wendy Mogel gives me the rare and comforting feeling that parenting problems actually have solutions. She delivers these not as rules from on high, but as a series of insights that credit our intelligence and bring out our best selves.”
—Pamela Druckerman, author of Bringing Up Bébé